there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
