"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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