I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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