my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
