he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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