is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
