I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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