he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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