Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
