Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
‪Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best. ‬
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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