If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
