remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
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