i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
