come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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