I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
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