At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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