after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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