I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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