I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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