Don't you send me to vm
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
