1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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