"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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