So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
