he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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