i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
