i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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