Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
