My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My ass is underappreciated
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
