Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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