we're blogging at a bar
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
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