my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its about making memories worth repressing
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
