she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
