For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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