Duck Duck Cougar?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
