Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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