it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
