he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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