There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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