If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
