P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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