YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ugly people sure do ruin things
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
