Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Randomize
