Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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