How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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