My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
