Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
