I CAN MOONWALK!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
