You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
