to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
