You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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