I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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